Matrimonial Mugging

Newcastle Herald

Monday September 8, 2008

HE SAID SAID SHE SAID WITH DAVID AND TANYA OF KO-FM 102.9

HE SAID

SPRING has sprung and it's not just the animals who have that look in their eye . . . the first wedding invitation of the season arrived last week and the only reason I feel comfortable about discussing it here is because they live in Melbourne and unless I'm extremely unlucky, they'll never get to read this.

I was in a bad mood as I opened the envelope anyway, because a hundred tiny hearts fell out on to the floor and the dog beat me to the punch before I could say the word "Dustbuster".

Tucked inside the wedding invitation was another invitation, this one asking me to visit a travel agent where a special account had been set up to pay for their honeymoon.

Is this any different to accessing a bridal register at a department store? Probably not, but I find both forms of invitation offensive and presumptuous.

Surely the whole idea of inviting me to share their special day is what it's all about. Demanding a specific gift along with the invitation itself is almost like charging an admission fee for their big day. Of course, I have every intention of giving them a gift to mark the occasion, but I'd like it to be on my terms, with thought and originality, and how much I spend on that gift is none of anyone's business, especially theirs.

I certainly don't want to be one of a hundred paid sponsors who contribute a known amount to their honeymoon.

SHE SAID

YEARS ago when all my friends were getting married (for the first time), I remember performing the unenviable task of scouring department stores and the like for the "ideal" wedding gift. It was a complete failure, not to mention a waste of time and money, if the measure of success was ever seeing the happy couple display and/or make use of said gift, because they never did.

Fortunately the age of the bridal gift registry dawned and buying the perfect present was akin to a bride on her honeymoon a most definite sure thing. Guests found something in their price bracket that would be a welcome addition to the marital home and the newly titled Mrs didn't suffer a panic attack every time someone unexpected turned up and couldn't be offered a cuppa in their hideous choice of gift mug.

Anybody who still believes "it's the thought that counts" obviously hasn't had to live with someone else's bad taste in home decorator items. The only downfall of a bridal register is when you put off shopping until the last and find the only items left on the list are the ceramic toothbrush holder and matching toilet brush. While necessary to every abode , they're not quite the impression you want to leave.

For this reason I firmly believe wishing wells and honeymoon funds are as essential to the big day as a second, less opulent bouquet, one that can be tossed into the sad sea of single girls to give them hope that their happy day is not too far away.

David and Tanya can be heard on KO-FM 102.9 from 5.30am to 9am Monday to Friday. Email davidandtanya@kofm.com.au.

© 2008 Newcastle Herald

Back to News Index | Back to Home